If you are looking for a quick fix solution that you can just breeze through to solve your grief and sorrow from loss – this article is not for you. To successfully heal through this journey includes a road that is full of bumps, potholes, and unwanted detours. If it is your desire to find more happiness and a fuller life, know that grief work is where you'll be challenged - you'll be tested – and the success achieved is through a roll-up-your-sleeves-and-get-down-to-business-type of effort. If you are still reading brave loved one, completely immersing in the world of healing is essential. A halfhearted effort is not a beneficial consideration. Overcoming grief is not for the faint of heart. Nonetheless, desirable healing options are available when you seek them.

"Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow." ~Rumi

There are a dozen steps that can help lead you to the road you to travel through your grief-healing journey to find more happiness, hope, and joy.

Step 1 – You must accept the new you! Yes, that is correct - after this terrible grief happening, you can't have your old life back. Dreadful grieving circumstances change your life forever. Acceptance of your new situation is a prerequisite for you to be able to step towards more happiness.

Step 2 - Make a commitment! As you accept your new you, you are then able to make a determination to find happy reconciling solution steps that lead to more joy. At the beginning of your unwanted grief, you may have needed to take a brief grief hiatus. However, you can't hibernate and expect to wake up in the future and believe everything will just “be” better. Finding new happiness and hope requires a commitment by you to yourself to take steps toward them.

Step 3 – Work on YOU! Everyone who improves themselves in any way: physically, mentally or any self-improvement has to simply whack away at it with consistency and efficiency. You may not have ever thought of skill development to find happiness and reconcile your sorrow. I invite you to identify steps to develop new skills to make your life more full – yes; it can be working out, yoga, and a writing class, something to improve you.

Step 4 - Work on self- assigned efforts! You'll need to have important activities and deadlines. I remember reading a Burma Shave sign series while driving along a major highway. It read: "Lost... Keep Going... You Are Making Good Time Anyway." List what is important to you - outline daily and weekly tasks of essential healing and items to work through your grief. Making good time only counts if your activities are reaching for a reconciling timeline. Recognized effort is a necessary choice. 

Step 5 - Establish structured efforts! Consistency and efficiency are two practices that are necessary to be successful for all people. Now is a good time to examine how consistent and efficient you are in reconciling your grieving heart. Could you do better? Self-improvement is best accomplished when your structured efforts are consistent and efficient.

Step 6 - Surround yourself with helpful habits! We are all creatures of habit. Some exercise 5 days a week, some pray twice a day. Some shower every morning. Some fast and pray once a month. Some take no thought about how to improve their diet but keep a calendar to keep their life more on track. Habits can add inner strength to what you wish to accomplish. What practices could be helpful to you to overcome your grief? Because your needs are unique and personal, you will need to evaluate patterns which would be most beneficial to you.

Step 7 – Choose to be eager in engaging your positive attitude! Instill efforts of persistence to create positive and willingness in new and helpful solution steps! Can you think of eager as a verb? Can eager be an action word for you? Can you be eager to overcome your mourning? Can you eagerly look forward to waking up each morning with and attitude of finding more happiness and hope?

Step 8 - Acquire an intense level of involvement of your inner strength! Digging deep to meet a serious personal unplanned and unwanted grief circumstance with your own inner strength can be challenging. In fact, painful life experiences often require a new intensity of individual effort never before needed or discovered. Humans have proven over and over again they possess an inner strength to defy incredible challenges. You have it as well!

Step 9 – Do you want to succeed now? If no, then come back to this article in a week to see if you are ready. If yes, know that you have to have a strong eagerness to succeed right now! Some have too many excuses why they haven't done what they want or need to do. Most often their excuses are lame. It doesn't matter what your excuse is when you’re late – you’re still late. If you want to understand, heal, find a new purpose, and increase the happiness in your life, a fierce eagerness to succeed must prevail in your daily actions. Postponing anything – your attitude or actions – is not an option.

Step 10 - Completely immerse yourself in grief reconciliation efforts! There are certain things about your pain, which you shall never forget. How does one then ever overcome the sadness that has changed their life? How can you heal? The healing is in the reconciling of your grieving circumstance not forgetting it. Replacing sadness with happiness results in healing. Immersing your efforts in reconciling your grief is absolutely essential to your happiness and hope.

Step 11 - Accept the invitation to find more joy! If you believe in and implement the preceding steps, you can expect a life-altering experience. It starts the day you make the commitment to find the best path that's right for you. Finding your way takes consistent effort, but it will lead you towards healing, happiness, hope and a fuller life.

Step 12 - Overcoming grief is not a walk in the park. As stated before, a successful healing journey has bumps, potholes, and unwanted detours. To find more happiness and a fuller life, you'll be challenged, tested, and you will exert immense effort. You will completely immerse yourself in the world of healing knowing that half-efforts are not beneficial. With effort, wonderful healing options will be found as they are sought.

Some of these steps may be baby steps while others are giant leaps of mission impossible! The whole idea is to keep moving forward in our grief-healing journey.